“A tiresome, ill-tempered film.” –The Atlantic

“An overcooked, underlit, indecipherable pudding of a movie.” –The Observer

“It sucks.” –Leonard Maltin

Sure, I heard the reviews before going to see Batman vs. Superman. But I was determined to ignore them.

As a kid I read, loved and collected Superman comics. Furthermore, I would wear a blanket as a cape, turn on a floor fan next to a spinning bar stool and “fly” around like my favorite superhero until my mom would demand I stop.

And when the Christopher Reeve Superman hit the big screen. Oh my god. It was a big moment for all ten year old’s everywhere!

So I promised myself I would love Batman vs. Superman regardless of any critic.

You probably know what’s coming next.

Batman vs. Superman, sadly, doesn’t quite work.

Like a cake that doesn’t quite taste right. A missing ingredient. I can’t quite figure it out.

Sugar maybe?

That’s a pretty main ingredient. It may be just that serious.

The elements for a good movie are there. My favorite superhero of all time, Superman. The always dependable Batman. Throw Wonder Woman into the mix and…

But it doesn’t taste right.

The movie is dark. Like it was all filmed at night. In the rain. So it’s never fun, never witty, never campy. It’s like director Zack Snyder really, really, really wanted us to believe there is a Superman and Batman.

In doing that, however, he convinced us of the opposite.

It made me think, what has made the Marvel movies so great since Ironman came to the big screen in 2008?

marvel_movie_universe_by_superdude001-d56dd1e

Answer: Wit. Sarcasm. Style. Fun. Great writing.

All of the Marvel movies, including (and maybe especially) Deadpool, are never too serious while being serious enough.

The DC comic writers need to stop pretending they don’t watch the Marvel films and start imitating them. Steal everything they can find. Fast. The Justice League will be laughable if it’s this bad.

And allowing Ben Affleck to direct the next Batman movie? Who needs Superman? That may finish off the caped crusader as quickly as Affleck finished off Daredevil a decade ago.

The kindest thing I can say about Batman vs. Superman is that the new Captain America will be out next month.

That’s probably not what DC comics wanted to hear.

 

 

 

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