A dog and bear are reportedly in ‘cahoots’ in Canada.
Jesse Jordan took to Twitter blasting his ‘idiot’ dog, Brickleberry, for taking deer bone bribes from a seemingly clever bear.
‘My idiot furry son has one job at night – bark at things and make them go away. Easy, right?’ Jordan wrote about his mastiff, hound and Beagle mix.
‘HOWEVER, a bear has learned that my furry son can be bought,’ Jordan continued.
‘This is the THIRD TIME he’s been gifted deer bones in exchange for being allowed access to my trash, AND HE KEEPS DOING IT.’
My idiot furry son has one job at night – bork at things and make them go away. Easy, right?
HOWEVER, a bear has learned that my furry son can be bought. This is the THIRD TIME he’s been gifted deer bones in exchange for being allowed access to my trash, AND HE KEEPS DOING IT. pic.twitter.com/6NOKiFNLgm
— Jesse ‘Writer, Not Writer*’ Jordan (@JesseNeon) May 8, 2019
Jordan, whose post has now been retweeted more than 83,000 times, shared photos of his pooch munching on two large bones that Jordan says he didn’t purchase.
A third photo shows garbage strewn across his porch, an act supposedly done by the black bear.
In another tweet he continues:
“Although I basically handed my dog this position of power, it’s become very clear that he has no idea how to actually do the job properly; now not only do I have to clean up a huge mess, I see him putting his own self-interest first. Clearly, I have no choice but to impeach him.”
However, there is no real proof of these bribes occurring and the dog and bear are technically innocent until proven guilty.
After several thousand retweets and likes, Jordan went on to explain how much of a pain black bears are.
“Black bears basically act like giant raccoons and raid trash, camps and cabins,” he said.
And when several Twitter users voiced concern for Brickleberry, Jordan said his dog is pretty safe.
“I -have- to turn off notifications for this thread, but I’ll leave you all with one final reminder that black bears are a nuisance in northern Ontario and not typically a threat, meaning Brick is very much not likely to get eaten.
‘If he was, I wouldn’t let him sleep outside.”
Most Twitter users, as usual, had a fun time with it:
That is some Honey Heist style diplomacy and I am here for it. Now I want to know what type of hat this criminal bear wears.
— CeramicOwlbear (@CeramicOwlbear) May 8, 2019
This just sounds like you're not paying him enough.
If the bear is offering a better deal, you can't blame him for taking it. Capitalism.
— Erin (@ErinandEmmainFL) May 8, 2019
This is the correct take, if you gave him deer bones, he would bark to protect the bones from the bear. Pay your workers!!!
— Shea Flinn (@FlinnShady) May 8, 2019
The dog should be running the place by now. Workers should own the means of production.
— Ser Jesse of House Dahl (@thisistherevolt) May 8, 2019
this bear invented an economy
— ????????? ??? (@EdgarAllanFoe) May 8, 2019
this dog is innocent.
no collusion.
— The Warax. ?? (@iAmTheWarax) May 8, 2019
Well at least they were negotiating…the bear-dog divide has historically been terrible but this is great bipartisan, interspecies work.
— (((Barb Kittridge))) (@kittrdg) May 8, 2019
If a fecking bear wanted to bribe me, I would consider it an offer I couldn't refuse
— ?Heavy Glitter? (@Derpatar) May 8, 2019
So is this bear pulling these deer ones out of the trash along with everything else he’s scattering there?
— juwailes (@juwailes2) May 8, 2019
I love your dog and that bear. Bear is obviously aware your dog is the Godfather and is paying tribute for entrance to the garbage game.
— Joanie ? ? ???? (@JoaniePhotos) May 9, 2019